Lactation

Obviously, by the name of this post, I am going to be blogging about lactation... so if you're not kosher with reading about all things lactation then please stop reading...

now.

Breastfeeding with Lily was amazing. It seemed she latched on like a pro, ate well and gained good weight despite her severe acid reflux. Sure, I was sore for a few weeks and yes, I was on the side of over abundant supply. And yes, my milk let down was not only felt but was quite uncomfortable. The best description I can tell people who have not felt a painful let down is this: it feels like a pitcher full of metal BB bullets being poured into your breasts.

Now, if you're still reading - congratulations! But you're not out of the woods yet.

All in all with Lily, I had a successful breastfeeding experience - what I call a career. I nursed exclusively until 6 months and then very gradually weaned her at 9 months. I felt accomplished, I felt good about the amazing service I had rendered to my baby by giving her the best she could possibly have at the time, and then she grew up and I felt it was time to move onto the next chapter in her eating career.

Enter baby Robert.

I felt the same way about breastfeeding Rob as I did Lily - that I would exclusively breastfeed until 6 months and then slowly wean to formula. I wasn't optismistic that I would reach 9 months, as I had with Lily, but I was firmly committed to 6 months of nursing.

Then started the issues.

I was severely engorged for 5 days and mildly engorged for an additional 10 days (the normal is 24-48 hours). It was painful, uncomfortable and I could barely sleep at night with all this weight on my rib cage!! One night, I swore I was having a heart attack. Nope, just an extra 5 pounds directly over my heart.

Once the engorgement ceased, my supply was still over abundant. I was usually too full for Rob to even have a chance at latching on. My milk would let down anywhere from 3-7 times before Rob would even begin eating. If you're not familiar with lactation, here is a quick summary:

Baby begins to nurse - nipple stimulation sends message to brain - hormones are released - milk from the back of the breast 'lets down' to the front of the breast - baby drinks 'readily available' fore milk until this let down happens and all the foremilk is guzzled by a hungry baby - then the hindmilk (which is higher in fats and is considered 'creamier' than the foremilk) is available for the baby to drink.

By the time Rob would begin to drink, the force of the milk was way too much for him to handle. He was sputter, gulp and get overwhelmed and then cry because he was hungry. After he would try to tame the beastly flow, he could only manage to nurse for 5-7 minutes. He was so gassy. His poo was bright, frothy green in color. Those indicators led to me the conclusion that was he only taking in foremilk, which is high in lactose (a milky sugar) and was causing some intestinal issues - the gas and poo.

It was a vicious cycle. It was so frustrating. I tried so many different ways to help him to nurse better. None of them worked well enough to get him a full feeding.

So about 2 1/2 months into his little baby life, I began to pump. Pumping is... boring, annoying, tedious, messy. I had to clean all the collection bottles, the nozzles, the shields, the membranes, etc etc etc. all the time. Plus, actually feed Rob the expressed milk.

I then got mastitis, twice. Each time, my supply of the infected breast would decrease. Sure, I could have 'gotten' my supply back up on that side but I would have had to double time pump to make that happen and I did not have the energy to do it.

About a week ago, I finished pumping. I made it to 5 months. 1 month short of my goal.

Although I was sad that as I looked back on my breastfeeding career with Rob and I know it was anything but easy - I feel complete that I gave him the best for the first 5 months of his life. He has gained great weight, better than Lily, even though he also spits up. He is happy and full of smiles and giggles and lights up when he sees me.

And that's what matters to me, a happy baby and a happy Mama.